Lego My Prego

Today I learned that the teenaged younger sister of one of my co-workers, who herself was a teen mother, is pregnant. I'm pretty distressed over it.

At times such as this I can't help but imagine how cool it would be if there were such a thing as a magic pill a girl could take to keep her from getting pregnant, even if she were having unprotected sex. It would be such an amazingly cool thing that it wouldn't even really be that much of a hassle if a girl had to take this pill every day at the same time of day. Maybe there would even be confidential clinics she could go to get this pill at a discounted rate or completely free.

Now I'm on a roll. Hell, maybe someone could even invent a shot she could get once a month that would do the same thing without her having to remember to take a pill every day. Or if she didn't like needles maybe she could wear a patch or something and just have to change it once a month. Or maybe, just maybe she could insert a soft little ring into her vajayjay once a month that she wouldn't even notice if she preferred.

Call me a dreamer, I guess.

The music don't feel like it did

...when I felt it with you

• Teardrops by Diamond Cut

More Diamond Cut music on iLike

Thanks a Latte!

One of the myriad joys of holiday drink specials is the constant ordering of "nonfat eggnog lattes" by dunce customers. Ignoring the flurry of snarky replies I'm tempted to make, I usually politely mention that the eggnog is not nonfat (BECAUSE NONFAT EGGNOG HASN'T BEEN INVENTED YET), but that I can cut it with some nonfat milk. Or if I'm really annoyed I just answer, "Of course!" and make it following the recipe.

I was complaining about this to one of my favorite regulars today and mentioned that at the conclusion of this holiday season I was going to suggest to corporate that the next seasonal drink should be a Barista Tears Latte. They then suggested a drink called the Barista's Revenge (all of this occurring after their big chuckle over my Tiger Woods joke). This exchange basically made my day. Oh, along with the fact that I got my shift on the day after Xmas covered so I don't have to spend the holiday driving navigating blizzards on the road from Boise back to Seattle (!!!!!!).

Plus Becky's moving here soon and my auntie and cousin from the Twin Cities and Baltimore, respectively, will be in Idaho with the gentiles over Xmas this year. Life is good.

Wild Nights! Wild Nights!

were I with thee
wild nights should be
our luxury!





EmDick

Thanksgiving, Schultz family-style

Brother's ex-girlfriend brings the sticky, Father breaks out the copper pipe he welded in college in the '70s, everyone smokes together, proceeds to finish the unbelievably delicious gourmet feast Mother has been planning for weeks. Father wears his Sunday best, Mother's tired she needs a rest/the kids are playing up downstairs, Sister's sighing in her sleep, Brother's got a date to keep. Errrrrr...

Pain killer addiction: Not just for batshit crazy conservative talk show hosts!

I've been in the most incredibly chipper mood all day, despite having to go to work at an unholy hour this morning AND suffering from crazy heavy menses.

Hmmm... maybe it's because I'm finally over vicodin withdrawal. I kicked that shit cold turkey-like. Must have been someone praying for me. Right, Rush?

Isn't it just grand when...

...you finally decide to ask out the barista that you've been pining away for forever but when you visit them at work with this intention you start to chicken out until they give you the most perfect opening imaginable so you do it heart racing and they say 'yes' in a nearly overenthusiastic manner???

I think so.